ARIES

Personally, I wouldn't trust the salad anywhere. But that's just me. 

TAURUS

Ice means diamonds. You're welcome.

GEMINI

Racing against time to complete projects should generally work. It hasn't failed you yet. 

CANCER

Availing ride share services without promo codes is a dangerous game. I approve. 

LEO

Training for your freestyle footballer career is going to go well. 

VIRGO

Electricity is going to teach you the value of being alone. The hard way.

LIBRA

Streaming Netflix is going to be a world of hurt.

SCORPIO

Rage against the machine. You got this.

SAGITTARIUS

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what you say until you truly believe it yourself.

CAPRICORN

Lapses in concentration are best combatted with YouTube videos.

AQUARIUS

Equality should be practiced; not merely preached.

PISCES

Zen habits are easy to hide behind when you're lazy.