This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
You are not alone.
TAURUS
Oranges can be subjective too.
GEMINI
Unhinge yourself from your woes.
CANCER
Are you sure you like peanut butter ice-cream?
LEO
So, you're saying that your goldfish ate your cat?
VIRGO
Kangaroos will visit you in the near future.
LIBRA
Early birds don't catch worms, they catch a cold too.
SCORPIO
Does it look like it's going to rain on your parade?
SAGITTARIUS
I know you like Garbage Patch Kids.
CAPRICORN
Don't worry, I wouldn't remember to buy milk either.
AQUARIUS
Dogs don't like people who don't love them.
PISCES
Pink is not your colour.
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