THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
Let me show you what it means to Sun.
Taurus
If you think you are special, you are not.
Gemini
Can we, like, not even buy winter clothes this year?
Cancer
Join the glorious revolution! Wear polka dot hats.
Leo
Oh dear. You're not going to become an honorary potato.
Virgo
Have it your way or my way.
Libra
Never surrender to the clutches of the Kermit.
Scorpio
Can you do a backflip forward?
Sagittarius
Ever wondered how life would be if you were a lobster?
Capricorn
Never stop cooking what you believe in.
Aquarius
Admit it. You are not as kawaii as you thought you would be.
Pisces
Do me a favour. Read the first letter of every sentence above; starting from Cancer.
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