THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
If you're coughing, it's best to just swallow honey.
Taurus
Go green, okay? Only you have what it takes.
Gemini
I'd recommend you ginger but you're already Ron Weasley.
Cancer
If I have an elephant, would you pet it?
Leo
Your destiny is to become the Butters of your friends circle.
Virgo
Are you suffering from vertigo?
Libra
I heard you're very picky with partners.
Scorpio
Yeah, you probably stink.
Sagittarius
Don't play Genji either please.
Capricorn
As I walk through the valley of doughnuts...
Aquarius
Now that Trump is finally president, what are you gonna do?
Pisces
Everything changed with the Vape Nation attacked.
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