THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
Can we have a no shoe zone in Dhaka City? Please?
Taurus
I like standing around and watching you struggle with life.
Gemini
Care to share some of your thoughts on goats flying in the sky?
Cancer
The hawks are out to get you.
Leo
I will not recommend getting that ultra-widescreen monitor.
Virgo
Play Resident Evil VII with a VR headset. You know you want to.
Libra
Howbow you don' cash me ousside?
Scorpio
Keep an eye out for that shiny potato in the supermarket.
Sagittarius
Check if your mom has already left you 27 missed calls when you step out of the house.
Capricorn
After you've channelled your energy, don't swim in the sand.
Aquarius
Don't check yourself out in the elevator today. You'll look fat.
Pisces
Things might JUST improve for you today.
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