THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
Aries
Tangle yourself like your earphones.
Taurus
If I wear shades, why can't I see your face?
Gemini
Check your tea cup. It could be a mimic.
Cancer
Hakula! It's a meme reference from the future, you won't get it.
Leo
You will smell like a week-old egg.
Virgo
Do not go to any lounges this month.
Libra
If there is Bayonetta why is there no Rifletta? Ha ha!
Scorpio
I do not authorise your love for K-Pop posters.
Sagittarius
Burning bridges is a good way to get wet.
Capricorn
Is your favourite food Capricorn-dogs??
Aquarius
Pisces
Get something else that doesn't make you look like a dwarf.
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