THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE
ARIES
Don't step out with white shoes today.
TAURUS
I am done giving advice to Taurus people. They are always too headstrong.
GEMINI
Time to reap.
CANCER
Time to keep.
LEO
Time two sheep.
VIRGO
You should write about the struggles of the plankton-men.
LIBRA
Davy Jones' locker holds many surprises.
SCORPIO
Please play Lawbreakers with me.
SAGITTARIUS
Hmm, difficult. Very difficult. I put you in Hufflepuff.
CAPRICORN
Are you happy about the state of your dodo bird?
AQUARIUS
We've done more of these before.
PISCES
Abandon all hope when you step in.
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