This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
Hello, is it 2441139, Bella Bose, where is my shawarma?
TAURUS
O.P.A., O.P.A., where art thou?
GEMINI
Least concerned of all my wishers are my well wishers because they know I am well when I am unwell, if that makes sense.
CANCER
Your name is not your identity.
LEO
Possession of a cat made the dog vomit.
VIRGO
Be smort, not toit.
LIBRA
Nigeria is a nice country to visit.
SCORPIO
Eons ago, you existed in the same universe.
SAGITTARIUS
Some people think you're smart, but think again.
CAPRICORN
Don't cross the road, don't be a chicken.
AQUARIUS
Assuming you know everything is not cool.
PISCES
Didn't I see you at that party last night?
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