Guide To Successfully Repressing All Your Feelings
Did you ever ask someone out and get rejected brutally? Did you ever open up to a friend just to have your feelings completely dismissed like the rest of the members of Maroon 5? Here is a solution to never having to experience any of that again.
Don't tell people what goes on in that little head of yours. No one can disappoint you if you don't talk to anyone. *Insert Roll Safe meme*.
Did your friends forget to invite you to a hangout and then you go on Instagram to find everyone posting pictures with the caption, "#WHOLESQUAD"? So, when they call you to apologise (if they call) tell them that it's fine and that you were busy that day anyway, while a single tear trickles down your cheek. Now play "Everybody Hurts" on repeat while you cry yourself to sleep.
You know how Barney Stinson said, "Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it"? It could also be interpreted to mean that if your friends aren't there to see it happen, it did not happen. So, when you finally muster enough courage to tell the guy you've been drooling over for the past 6 months how you feel, only to get a "Thank you" in response, tell him "You're welcome". Then, when your best friend asks, "Hey, whatever happened with you and that guy Steve that you liked?" reply, "Steve who?".
Deal with the hurt and pain by crying yourself to sleep…again.
Did your significant other declare, "It's not working out anymore", and that you should just remain friends? Tell them that you never loved them in the first place and that everything is cool.
In short, if anything causes you distress or woe, there is no need to vocalise it like a normal person. Deny everything. Let it eat you from the inside while you form deep seated resentments towards every human being you interact with.
One last piece of advice, don't be me.
Tasnim Odrika is having an existential crisis at the moment and doesn't really know who she is anymore. Send her compliments at firstname.lastname@example.org