How to act on a first date

Finally asked that boy/girl out? Great! You're halfway on your way to disappointmentville where you will be constantly let down but you'll still have to keep pretending you're having a good time and this is what you want; when we all know what you really want is just a donut. 

 

Okay, so now the question stands, "How do I lure the other person into thinking dating and relationships are something magical?" 

 

The first step is inducing a bit of mystery. The thrill of any new relationship comes from getting to know a new person. So, in order to keep the mystery alive it's imperative to not reveal anything about yourself on the first date. The answer to all your date's questions must be given by brooding nods. 

 

Now, this next step might contradict with the previous step. After you've spent a good 30 minutes giving deep, brooding nods, it's time to seal the deal by agreeing with everything your date says and pretending you like the same things. This doesn't actually go against the first rule because you're not actually revealing anything about your true self. What you're doing is creating the exact persona of your date. Because your date might not like who YOU are as a person, but, they can't hate themselves. 

 

Moving on, most of us spend a big portion of time deciding on what to wear on the first date. If you really want to impress, you will first research on what your date likes and dislikes and dress accordingly. So, if you see that their liked music on Facebook includes Mayday Parade and All Time Low, then it's time to cut those bangs and borrow your mom's eye liner. The idea is to become the complete image of the person you're dating so that at one point it becomes difficult to even distinguish the two from each other. The day the two of you manage to turn into a complete blob is the day you have succeeded in the relationship.