Satire

How pet preferences profile you

Whether it's the bark that calms you down or the meow that thaws your heart, your pet of preference goes a long way to reflect on who you are.  

CAT CRAZIES 

There's no shame in staying up till four in the morning watching kitten videos on YouTube. It happens to be a prevailing hobby of most cat people. A very passionate aspect about cat enthusiasts, they really adore their kitties. It's no secret that cats aren't the most appreciative beings. Naturally, it takes heaps of patience, unconditional love and scratch-resistant furniture to own a cat. Cat people, much like their animal of affection tends to avoid human interaction and are less sociable. However, cat lovers are usually far more independent, intelligent and creative than most. They're curious people, always game to try new things. Cat owners tend to be artistic and have a non-traditional mindset and unconventional way of thinking. So to all the haters out there generalising all cat people as the "friendless lonely cat lady", cat got your tongue now?

PUP PARENTS

If Hooch's death was the greatest TV tragedy and Brian is the sole reason you watch Family Guy, then it's possible you're a dog fanatic. People bearing a soft side for dogs usually tend to be extroverted and outgoing. They're typically social butterflies, exhibiting an aura of confidence and dominance. Nimbleness and positivity come with their friendliness. Resembling their favourite animals, dog lovers are commonly obedient and loyal. Their canine companions aren't just a pet, they're family. Dog people make great friends. They're affectionate, altruistic and very dependable. With their level of fidelity, you can always be sure about one thing, they'll never and throw you to the dogs and ditch.

FISH FANATICS

Owning a pet has never required lesser work. People keeping fishes are either indolent or busy bees. Fish are relatively low-maintenance and don't require much besides routine water changes and regular feeding. You don't need to take sick goldfish to the vet. Your goldfish won't go barking and wake the neighbours or need routine walks around the block, so it's simple. People owning goldfish tend to be sensitive and introverted. They find solace in privacy, quietness and watching their fishes go in circles around the bowl. Living a life in a goldfish bowl isn't their forte, so instead they find a friend whose is.

ABSURD PEOPLE WHO THINK PETTING TARANTULAS ARE NORMAL  

If God created two types of people, one recites Ayatul Kursi seeing a spider, the other consciously volunteers to domesticate these ghastly creatures. It's no secret that people owning tarantulas are bold and fearless. Or perhaps they're desperate attention seekers or someone who stepped into a perilous dare. Either way, even though it's very low maintenance, it takes an audacious, committed "arachnomaniac" with very lenient parents to pet these six-legged hairy little devils. 

Stereotyping people into these categories isn't our intention. You just might discover a kitten in the class-clown's house or encounter a shy girl with a dozen little pugs. And despite out differences as pet parents, we're all tied by one commonality - we love out multiple legged/ finned/ winged buddies to the ends of the world.

Samin Sabah Islam is on a quest to find the perfect diet while simultaneously drooling over pizza. Throw her some tips at [email protected]

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