The best fairness cream in town

Yes, that's right. The best fairness cream in town has arrived.

Last year we brought to you a fairness cream that lightens the skin tone of your face at least three times more than your normal body tone and it only works when you apply it. The stark difference in your facial and body tone made you stand out because everyone noticed you in a crowd. Our fairness cream made all heads turn in your direction because honestly it was just difficult to ignore. And, you all loved the attention that our fairness cream brought.

Our new fairness cream, Fairest and the most Beautiful, will do everything our previous cream did and so much more. We believe, in this day and age fairness creams shouldn't even exist. Oh wait, what I meant was in this day and age fairness creams should do so much more than just lighten your skin tone. They should "enlighten" your skin tone.

Made with our ultra-ancient scientific AI technology, this new cream can be absorbed through your skin where it will enter the bloodstream and get carried to the brain to increase your IQ. In the bloodstream, the chemicals in the cream can also be converted to glucose and used for respiration. As a result, you won't ever have to waste money on food again.

"With my increased intelligence, I was finally able to secure my dream job and I used the money saved from not having to buy any food to buy a house. Life has never been better," says a 25-year old person who was definitely not paid to say that.

If you're still not convinced, and you want to ask why you need a fairness cream in the first place, you're too smart for us. Our world-class scientists are still trying to uncover an answer to this question since "blondes have more fun" just doesn't seem to convince people anymore.

Tasnim Odrika is having an existential crisis at the moment and doesn't really know who she is anymore. Send her compliments at odrika_02@yahoo.com