When Parents Retire

"I used to be pulled awake from my deep droning hulk of a slumber every weekday morning, to the sound of my father rushing himself to wear his socks, whistling unmindfully getting corporate ready, running and stumbling into a table or two and always re-entering the house to put on his favourite wrist watch which he had forgotten, as usual. Now, on the present day, that watch lays unused, its surface as dusty as the memories of those coffee-scented early mornings." 

Farhanul reminisced about the days when his father was a working man, beaming with ambition and confidence, ready to take on the world. Shortly, after he retired, his personality started its descent to shabbiness. The nucleus of the family started glowing a little feebly.

Retirement is that individualistic action to which the whole family has a reaction, especially the young, blooming generation of the family. This lack of regular routine will tend to develop crankiness and irritation in your mother or father once they start missing their old programmed lifestyle. After all, old habits die hard and painfully. They will try to shift their purpose onto something new and you will most likely be it. Tahmeed Chaudhury, a student of EEE at NSU took time to get used to the new circumstances once his father retired from the army. "I was quite young when my father retired. Apart from leaving old friends and neighbours behind, we didn't think it would be that difficult. But then I went from a quiet, peaceful and secured place to a whole new world of busy streets, traffic, population overload and hectic lifestyles. I went from being a kid who cycled alone along the radius of the cantonment to a boy who was not allowed to leave home alone or talk to strangers. The change was quite baffling and it took me more than five years to get used to it."

This period is the slump of your parent's work cycle, the very cul-de-sac; the ripple effects of which will soon transcend the borders of your bedroom in the form of them barging into your room quite frequently and dramatically, asking you about the direction your life is headed. From losing their cool about you being out after sundown to shouting at you for getting a below average grade, they will seem to have a problem with everything you do. This is when you will need to raise your level of patience. 

Rewind back to the previous scenario; this person spent most of the important hours of daylight at work and upon returning would be too tired to even ask you about the chemistry exam you had at school. Fast forward to the present, the presence of this character will bore down on your regular life too heavily. Their existence will be stronger than the strongest espresso, hovering around and rummaging through your life to nag about the silliest of your mistakes. However, what you need to remind yourself is that, they are not habituated to fill in their daily routine nitpicking just the way you are not accustomed to see their faces appearing at your door every few minutes. 

For many families, it is worse. It is more than just dealing with psychological and routine changes. This disengagement of their guardians from their métier comes in a package deal with financial strains. Everyone has to adjust and adapt to a renewed thrifty atmosphere where you no longer can exploit your purchasing power like before. Discontentment and vexation follow like conjoined twin sisters swinging their wretched ponytails who refuse to leave the residence. I have witnessed relationships grow brittle over trivial issues which previously would have withstood the toughest of problems. Situations like these will make you question about the purpose of existence and make you want the old Barter System back so that you could exchange your soul for the Diplo tickets all your friends are going gaga about. What would they know? Right? Not really though. 

This monetary crisis is not the be-all-end-all of everything. Yes, you will have to wait for quite some time to fulfill your desires and you will start missing out on hangouts to save up, but it is okay. Open up to your loved ones and extended family members about what has been eating you up. Talking always helps. Take a trip, watch movies together and help them to develop a new hobby. Reassess your situation and take it up as a challenge to resurface from this. The inability to spend adequately is not really stopping you if you have that perseverance which identifies as a force of nature. Relax, you will make it. In the meantime, go give your parents a hug. 

The boy I mentioned in the beginning, Farhanul, had almost lost hopes with his dejected father, but then he decided to clean up that watch one morning and asked his old man to put it on and go for a walk with him. Things have been getting better ever since. 

Iqra suffers from wanderlust, dreams of discovering the Loch Ness Monster and occasionally complains about Economics. Tell her to get a life at iqralaqa@gmail.com or https://www.facebook.com/iqra.l.qamari