Why I can't be a beauty guru

Before anyone assumes that I'm a gawky makeup-hating tomboy, I'd like to clear the air because I absolutely love putting makeup on myself. Maybe not much as most girls, but I'm there.

YouTube is a lucrative oasis for self-proclaimed beauty gurus who don't just love makeup - but also eat it, drink it, and live by it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now, that's a different level of commitment and here's why I can't fulfil it:

MONTHLY FAVOURITES

So, you have to pick a favourite of each makeup item every month. Now this might sound like fun to most girls, but for a frugal like me, it's a nightmare. My makeup items are like planets; they've been around ever since the Big Bang and I still very much use them. I refuse to throw away anything until I finish off the very last pinch, exactly why I sobbed at the parlour when I broke my face powder which I could easily have used for another year. 

MAKEUP LOOKS

I fail to understand how beauty gurus come up with different makeup looks every single week, put 5000 products on their faces and still be free of a single pimple. I can do about 5 looks at max, which I interchange between events to not come off as repetitive. But honestly, if I wore that much makeup every single day, I'd be Voldemort's sister by now.

ROUTINES

YouTubers have a routine for everything. Morning routine, Night-time routine, Summer routine, Fall routine, and the list goes on. They have different products for all of these routines which I'm certain costs more than my college education. Leaving aside the monetary aspect however, I sincerely applaud their persistence. For a sloth like me, the fact that I remember putting on the moisturiser is a big feat in itself.

OTHER PEOPLE DO MY MAKEUP

This has been a raging trend these days where beauty gurus invite their friends and family who unconditionally love them to do their makeup. The most popular being "my boyfriend/dad does my makeup WOW". Now, neither do I have a boyfriend nor is my dad cool enough to pull off such a feat. Sadness is welcome. 

VIDEO-MAKING TRAUMAS

Being sluggish and frugal aren't the only things that define me. I'm also technologically challenged who has to call her guy friends over every time something goes wrong. For me, videotaping at various locations, searching for good lighting, putting on voiceover and finally making the video look pretty would be a daunting task to accomplish. And then all that publicity over social media. No, sir.

It's best that I just stick to writing - where I'm allowed to rant in my pyjamas and cry about my pimples.

Rafidah Rahman is a teeny-tiny Hulk, she's always angry and she's always hungry. A cynical dreamer and a food enthusiast, she's your everyday entertainment. Correspond with her at rafidahrahman93@gmail.com  or https://web.facebook.com/rafidah.rahman.39