Dear applicant,

Firstly, thank you so much for applying to our program. We have had a particularly rigorous year of the toughest pool of applications received and we were thoroughly impressed with your application. For real.

Now, if you have reached this far, then I have more or less convinced you that you have most likely been accepted. Alas, I must bring out the small needle pin that I keep handy in the admissions committee's desk, and proceed to burst your happy and optimistic bubble. While we were thoroughly taken with your credentials, we unfortunately cannot accept you into our final batch of students for this year. We, however, encourage you with feigned positivity to try again next year and if we may so please, to "surprise" you once again with an uneasy plot twist in the end.

We wish you all the very best in your future endeavours, because of course, we really do pretend to care.

***

For most students, the first half of the new year brings forth a charged atmosphere of motivation and determination. The months of March and April in particular emit many emotions in hopeful candidates who apply with big dreams and defined future plans. However, not all great stories start with a great bang. For many of us who applied late last year and even early this year for undergraduate and graduate admissions abroad, it has not necessarily brought forward the best of news.

In the pandemic era, there seems to be enough gloom being passed around to feel deflated and morose over where life's upcoming course will take us. Top it with a little sprinkle of rejected applications and you have a well-rounded session of moping joining your nights soon. Like other candidates in the same boat, I too, felt the same tightening in my chest while going through letter after letter of rejection. The irony of it all is that even when I was submitting these applications, I made sure to mentally brace myself up ahead (forgive the mind of an overthinker here) that regardless of whatever decisions these grad schools give me, I will not let it deter my future plans. Despite all the mantras, I still felt the rejection letters settle deep within me.

If you too have been rejected by the school of your dreams, I can accurately assess how fast the current abyss of unease must be spiralling around you. Although you have probably already tried to convince yourself by now about life's greater plans and that everything has its own reasons, it is completely okay to still feel the full weight of how much this obstacle has left you unsettled.

Perhaps in many ways, it is very critical for you to allow yourself to feel the full impact of this blow and process it within you. The greatest advice I can provide is the same one I am trying to desperately cling to everyday; if Plan A hasn't worked out, try for the 25 other letters. Maybe venture into something so unknown that you never dreamed you would gather the courage to do it.

Most importantly, throw away the atypical social media quotes about "figuring life out by 25" and building a business empire even before you hit your thirties. In the end, you are, and should be, the only one allowed to change the strings as you please.     

Roshni spends her time dreaming about cakes and scenic waterfalls. Send her your thoughts at roshni.shamim@gmail.com