Treating life as a transitional period
"Baba, you can play all day and night as soon as your exams end."
"Just bear with it four more years and you will be set for life at a good university."
"Wear that dress after losing a few kilos."
Every single one of us has come across some form of this talk growing up. An unfortunate majority have heard them frequently from a very young age.
We are connected to our friends, family, and acquaintances 24/7 via the internet. We learn about their accomplishments as they happen. We feel a subtle sense of inadequacy.
"The hustle" and "grind" are terms we've all heard. The internet is full of "motivational speakers" of questionable credibility. A retreat to the bookstore to seek refuge from this madness greets us with shelves full of "self-help" books with haunting titles.
One of the many unfortunate effects of this culture is feeling obligated to treat our lives as a transitional period. Meaning that we set goals, and up until the said goal is achieved, we don't "live" life, we spend all our time and energy toiling and yearning.
Accidentally having some fun is met with very unfun feelings of guilt and fear of failure.
Another form of this is being so consumed by ambition and desire to succeed we lose sight of our happiness and physical and mental needs at present. We live an unbalanced life that is detrimental to our long-term well-being.
A characteristic of this phenomenon is that the current goal feels like the most important thing for our future happiness. Just get this one thing over with, and then I will live my life to the fullest. I would name it the "one more episode effect", because it does not end till the show is over.
A surprising positive of this effect is that simply being aware of it is a lot of progress towards overcoming it. Now every time you feel the need to put everything on pause till you achieve a new goal, you will realise that you are doing it again.
Then, we can take a moment to reflect on how important it truly is. Is it pivotal to our academics or career? How much time and effort does it actually require on our part? How much can we give while saving some time for our own enjoyment and sanity? This can help us prioritise and prevent us from overcompensating.
Burnout is a common result of spending years as a transitional period. It makes it difficult and makes you miserable to remain where you have gotten yourself through years of toiling. It is worth considering that success that comes at the expense of your personal happiness is equally strenuous to maintain.
Being mindful is easier said than done. But wouldn't we rather try than look back midway through life and realise we left our best years behind, never truly aware of how happy we could have been?
Life does not start with the end of an exam, job interview, or emigration abroad. It has already started and you are in the middle of it. There is no pause button, live it as it plays or you will miss it.
Amrin's confusion is at its peak, she's been screaming internally for a while now. Send help at amrinrafa@gmail.com