Do you ever get the feeling that you are actually two people? One is motivated to succeed and the other is holding you back like an anchor stuck between rocks? Do you ever feel unworthy of all that you have done in life, as if you are a constant lie that people can't see through? If you can honestly reply no, you are one of those rare people who are so sure of themselves, their goals, and their methods that they usually never have to worry about self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage, unfortunately, is an all-too-common human shortcoming, and many of us have fallen victim to it at least occasionally. If not, you may have seen a friend at some point in your life and thought to yourself, "He/she is ruining his/her own life."

When you consciously or unconsciously sabotage yourself, it can have adverse effects on your goals and general wellbeing. Even if there are several reasons why someone could self-sabotage, it doesn't always happen in the same way. Self-sabotage may take many different forms and the way it manifests depends on the individual. A few of the primary causes of people's propensity for self-sabotage include fear of failure, low self-esteem, cognitive dissonance, difficulty/discomfort with change, anxiety, and a need for control.

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Living with self-hatred

Procrastination, or delaying something and coming up with excuses, is a common example of self-sabotaging behaviour. Excuses are used to try to rationalise an unnecessary delay that keeps you from achieving a goal. This can result in people intentionally avoiding a commitment to partake in some other activity, even if they find themselves doing things that result in the opposite of what they initially wanted.

Procrastination is not the only way self-sabotaging behaviour manifests. A common scenario is where you end up setting unreasonable standards for yourself and begin to mistrust or second-guess yourself frequently. If you wind up creating unrealistic expectations for yourself, perfectionism may also lead to self-destruction.

To avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions or dwelling on previous trauma, some subconscious self-saboteurs may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse. On the outside, self-saboteurs may wear a strong and cheerful face to conceal their emotional vulnerability. However, when others approach them in an attempt to develop connections, these individuals could get hostile.

Defensive self-saboteurs could have trouble being in the moment and end up pushing others away in order to prevent being emotionally damaged. The self-sabotaging state of mind compels them to act in a way that validates their notion that they don't deserve anything better.

Failure to achieve desired targets or results can exacerbate poor self-esteem or beliefs by causing or worsening depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and helplessness. The key to preventing self-destructive habits is being more conscious of one's triggers. Once you've identified areas where you might be tempted to self-sabotage, such as a huge assignment at home or entering into a healthy relationship after a traumatic one, you can concentrate on monitoring your thoughts and behaviours and steering yourself away from sabotage.

Reference:

IJSER.org (January, 2017). To Study the Self-Sabotaging Etiquette in concordance with Criminality.

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