Satire

DAY IN THE LIFE OF A BEAUTY GURU

8:00 AM

I begrudgingly wake up and head straight to the filming room to grab my camera equipment. Today is the day I finally film my morning routine, so I head straight to the bathroom, do my 12-step Korean skincare routine then put on eight layers of makeup. I will, however, show only five layers to my viewers since I can't risk someone learning all my tricks and stealing my thunder.

 

10:00 AM

Breakfast time. I whip up a healthy kale smoothie, a kale salad, and to finish it all off, some sparkling water flavoured with kale. I share my breakfast with my fans since they must know how I get this flawless skin that I hide with makeup every day.

 

11:00 AM

Now it's time to do what I love most: try on new makeup. I go straight to the beauty room. All the PR freebies just arrived so the room is more cramped than ever. The smell of artificial products fills the air and I take in a big whiff. I can't wait to put all these chemicals on my sensitive skin and hope for the best.

 

3:00 PM

I've been filming for four hours and almost forgot about lunch. This time, I can't be bothered to cook anything so I order in. As I wait for my pizza to arrive, I start swatching all the new lipsticks I got yesterday. Who knew you needed 56 different lipsticks of a "nude" shade? I do, which is why I bought them all with my hard-earned money.

 

4:00 PM

Lunch has arrived and so it is time for me to do some market research. I go on to YouTube to see what my peers have been up to. The boring old brown smokey eyes and cut creases litter my recommended box. I decide to instead watch one of my own old videos. At least, this way, I will be entertained. Perhaps I can even find ways to improve, even though I highly doubt that's possible.

 

5:30 PM

I've lost track of time watching my videos. I'm almost late for my most exciting and important part of the day: shopping for makeup. You see, this isn't JUST shopping to me. This is my investment. The more makeup I spend on, the more money I make through reviews. It's a simple formula that helps me feel no guilt about spending hundreds of taka on products I do not need at all.

 

8:00 PM

MORE SWATCHING.

 

9:00 PM

I'm contemplating getting some beauty sleep but I need to edit. I can't keep my viewers waiting for the next upload forever. Relevance is fleeting, and I can't lose my job to some wannabe that doesn't even know what a halo eye is. I put my editing hoodie on and get to work.

 

11:00 PM

I've done it. I've edited almost eight whole minutes of footage I can use in the finished video. Now all I have to is send the rest of the raw footage to my editor so I am ready to upload it by tomorrow afternoon. My dedication for my viewers is what has got me so far, hence I will never stop grinding. Now, I'm going to my kale bed.

 

Mayabee Arannya can never say no to a cup of tea or cute doggo pictures. Send her the latter at fb.com/mayabee.arannya

Comments

DAY IN THE LIFE OF A BEAUTY GURU

8:00 AM

I begrudgingly wake up and head straight to the filming room to grab my camera equipment. Today is the day I finally film my morning routine, so I head straight to the bathroom, do my 12-step Korean skincare routine then put on eight layers of makeup. I will, however, show only five layers to my viewers since I can't risk someone learning all my tricks and stealing my thunder.

 

10:00 AM

Breakfast time. I whip up a healthy kale smoothie, a kale salad, and to finish it all off, some sparkling water flavoured with kale. I share my breakfast with my fans since they must know how I get this flawless skin that I hide with makeup every day.

 

11:00 AM

Now it's time to do what I love most: try on new makeup. I go straight to the beauty room. All the PR freebies just arrived so the room is more cramped than ever. The smell of artificial products fills the air and I take in a big whiff. I can't wait to put all these chemicals on my sensitive skin and hope for the best.

 

3:00 PM

I've been filming for four hours and almost forgot about lunch. This time, I can't be bothered to cook anything so I order in. As I wait for my pizza to arrive, I start swatching all the new lipsticks I got yesterday. Who knew you needed 56 different lipsticks of a "nude" shade? I do, which is why I bought them all with my hard-earned money.

 

4:00 PM

Lunch has arrived and so it is time for me to do some market research. I go on to YouTube to see what my peers have been up to. The boring old brown smokey eyes and cut creases litter my recommended box. I decide to instead watch one of my own old videos. At least, this way, I will be entertained. Perhaps I can even find ways to improve, even though I highly doubt that's possible.

 

5:30 PM

I've lost track of time watching my videos. I'm almost late for my most exciting and important part of the day: shopping for makeup. You see, this isn't JUST shopping to me. This is my investment. The more makeup I spend on, the more money I make through reviews. It's a simple formula that helps me feel no guilt about spending hundreds of taka on products I do not need at all.

 

8:00 PM

MORE SWATCHING.

 

9:00 PM

I'm contemplating getting some beauty sleep but I need to edit. I can't keep my viewers waiting for the next upload forever. Relevance is fleeting, and I can't lose my job to some wannabe that doesn't even know what a halo eye is. I put my editing hoodie on and get to work.

 

11:00 PM

I've done it. I've edited almost eight whole minutes of footage I can use in the finished video. Now all I have to is send the rest of the raw footage to my editor so I am ready to upload it by tomorrow afternoon. My dedication for my viewers is what has got me so far, hence I will never stop grinding. Now, I'm going to my kale bed.

 

Mayabee Arannya can never say no to a cup of tea or cute doggo pictures. Send her the latter at fb.com/mayabee.arannya

Comments

টাইম ম্যাগাজিনের ১০০ প্রভাবশালীর তালিকায় ড. মুহাম্মদ ইউনূস 

ম্যাগাজিনের অধ্যাপক ইউনূসকে নিয়ে মুখবন্ধটি লিখেছেন যুক্তরাষ্ট্রের সাবেক পররাষ্ট্রমন্ত্রী হিলারি ক্লিনটন। 

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