To put it bluntly, graduation ceremonies are quite the bummer. If you're expecting the audience to burst into applause when you walk across the stage to get your scroll like they show in movies, don't. These ceremonies are long, arduous and boring; by the time it's past the first few hours, most people are too tired to even care.

Like any congregation, these ceremonies consist of a diversity of people and the dysfunctional outcomes will either be humourous or annoying. Here's who to expect at any graduation ceremony.

GOSSIPS AND CHATTERBOXES

Can people talk for 5 hours straight? They can and there's no respite from this bunch. From criticising outfits to how someone attained their CGPA, no stone is left unturned. Starting from the front row where the faculty is located to the back where the guests are, they are everywhere. If you're sitting near one, you're most likely going to emerge knowing a lot of random things about a lot of random people you don't know.

TOO ENTHUSIASTIC

Some people are able to maintain their excitement and keep their energy levels high at a constant rate throughout the 5+ hours of the ceremony. They'll be squealing and clapping throughout or running around the venue. There are also the ones who are incapable of sticking to their designated spots and constantly have volunteers chasing them around. Make sure you don't trip over or get trampled by one.

SLEEPYHEADS

Some people can sleep through anything. Some people sleep through their own graduation and some people sleep through their children's graduation. They're the easiest to forgive, however, as they are the least bothersome, unless they're leaning into you every few minutes and drooling on your shoulders.

HOGGERS

People have an innate ability to hog things even when everyone is being provided with the exact same stuff. From the bathrooms to the steps of the stage and the line to the boxed lunches, there's a hogger of every type and everything. Navigating around these people might require a bit more locution than an 'excuse me', especially when you're in a rush.

No matter who you end up encountering, be sure to enjoy the day to the fullest. After all, you've made it across the line and you've earned the right to make it your big day!

Nooha Sabanta Maula is a recent Anthropology graduate who is figuring out her life. Send her your thoughts and feedback to noohamaula@gmail.com