American Politics and World Wrestling Entertainment: One and the Same

On April 1st, 2007, at the famous Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan, Donald Trump would, perhaps for the first time in his life, be vocally cheered on by 80,000 individuals. The setting was an odd one for a man with aspirations to sit in perhaps the most powerful office in the world; it was Wrestlemania 23, the single greatest exhibition of professional wrestling in the world today. Wrestlemania was and is, pro-wrestling's Super Bowl and the highlight of the grandest event of them all was the match billed “The Battle of the Billionaires,” with WWE Chairman Vince McMahon facing off against Donald Trump in a Hair vs Hair match. Both the so-called billionaires picked a wrestler to fight for them and ironically it was a black wrestler by the name of Bobby Lashley who won the fight for Trump. He may well be the African-American friend Trump keeps referring to in his child-like praises of himself. There being cheered on by the masses while he shaved Vince McMahon's hair, Donald Trump may finally have understood what mass adulation is like and that is perhaps when he craved even more of it. The taste of such adoration was unparalleled and Trump wanted more.

This isn't the first connection between pro-wrestling and American politics though. In fact, if you look at the major story lines of this athletic soap opera, you'd find too many obvious connections. Pro-wrestling, despite being largely derided as being scripted, (we know its fake. No wrestling fan really thinks Undertaker is a literal dead man walking and that Kane is his evil younger brother who he tried to burn with the rest of his family so stop asking us if we know whether its fake or not) generally always has its finger on the pulse and it could well be an excellent insight into the psyche of middle America and thus a telling indication of where the country is heading (it can get pretty racist at times). 

Take the current WWE product and compare the top names with your presidential could-bes. First off, you have Donald Trump and his WWE equivalent can easily be the legendary Hulk Hogan. Trump, the quintessential white American who knows what's best for us all like Hogan and his “Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and I'm a real American” shtick, Donald Trump sports the same blend of blond hair and bad ideas. Like Hulk Hogan, Donald Trump is also an icon and a racist of sorts and both men share an odd relationship with their daughters. While Hogan is an iconic American wrestler, Trump is an iconic American businessman. Both also struggled to reach the top of the ladder with Trump's dad giving him a mere million dollars to 'struggle it out like the rest of us' and Hogan being given a top spot in the then WWF for his Hollywood connections. Finally, the world seems to be tired of both of them by now and all we want is for them to shut up and retire forever and not bankrupt another company (Hogan can directly be linked with bankrupting WCW and ending TNA's good run).

Then there is Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is basically a hybrid between Roman Reigns and Charlotte Flair. The entire corporate mechanism is hell bent on ensuring that Roman Reigns becomes the next big household name to come out of wrestling. The problem is that Reigns has zero charisma, uses the words “suffering succotash” to insult his opponents (Sylvester the cat? Really, Roman? Really?) and is not even close to being a good wrestler. However, the corporates back him like no other and want him to succeed even if the fans can't stand him. They even mute out the boos and pipe in cheers for him in pre-recorded shows to give an illusion of support, the same thing that the mainstream media does for Hillary. She is also a little like Charlotte Flair in the sense that many believe that Charlotte Flair is the current Women's champion because her father, Ric Flair, is one of the biggest legends of the wrestling industry, so family name played a huge role here. The difference though, Ric Flair thought Charlotte would be worth it. Think about this; even Bill Clinton didn't want Hillary Clinton, so why the hell should you?

Finally, we have the man of the hour; Bernie Sanders. Bernie comes packed with powerful messages, an almost cult like following, a catchy slogan (Feel the Bern!) and next to zero chances of winning. His unlikely story is the same of one Daniel Bryan, the Internet Wrestling Community's darling. Daniel Bryan was a prodigiously gifted wrestler but the powers that be never gave him a shot because apparently he didn't have the right look. By the time they got behind him, Daniel Bryan had to announce his retirement due to the injuries his body had sustained over the years. Like Bernie Sanders, Daniel Bryan was too late to the party and like real life US politics, popularity gets you nowhere but better ties with the AIPAC (Or the CORPORATION in WWE's case) would certainly help. On the flipside, America likes nothing more than an underdog story, no matter how nauseous and self-harming the whole ordeal may be (on repeat every 8 years or so) and in that sense Daniel Bryan and Bernie Sanders both fit the bill to a T. There's also Ted Cruz and he is like the Alberto Del Rio of politics; he has the goods but no one seems to really care about him.

Like politics, wrestling too has its good guys (the face) and the bad guys (the heel) and they always stay in character, playing along with the crowd's suspension of belief, a la the US Presidential Elections, where nothing and no one is as it seems. The only thing left now is to give the US President a Title Belt he can carry around everywhere.  Wrestling, like US politics is tainted with racism packaged and sold in pretty wraps of patriotism and presented with a swirly ribbon of lies. In wrestling, the fans, the audience, are the ones who eventually get to tell the story; the scriptwriters need to adapt to changes and not stick to a one party line and thus, it becomes totally understandable when Hillary Clinton, in a span of a few years, goes from “marriage is an institution between a man and a wife” to “I support marriage of all kinds”. Whatever brings the cheers; whatever brings the votes. That's the life of a wrestler and a politician; to live the lie in style.