Breaking Our Own Backbone

Photo: Kazi Tahsin Agaz Apurbo

"Our children are our greatest treasure. They are our future. Those who abuse them tear at the fabric of our society and weaken our nation." – Nelson Mandela

Last month, the country went into trauma when a child named Rajon was tied to a wooden pole and beaten mercilessly by grown men, until he died. The 13-year-old was also videotaped while being tortured, as the criminals uploaded the video on social media with pride. The incident ignited uproar from all over the nation as people protested the gruesome act and demanded the arrest of the killers. Since then, more incidents have come to light of the torture, abuse and killing of children all across the country. But there is no point pretending like this was new, no point pretending that this was a first.

There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. In our country, child abuse has always been prevalent, abuse that can fall in all four of the categories. In a presentation by Ahsania Mission on Child Abuse, it is stated that in a social research by Bangladesh Mohila Porishod, they found that in 2011 there were 1239 reported cases of child abuse, in which 77 percent was from the lower class, 10 percent was from the lower middle class, 12 percent from the middle class, and 1 percent from the high class. It was also mentioned that the 21 percent of the perpetrators are a close relative, including fathers, 47 percent are neighbours, friends and community figures and 32 percent are house tutors.

"We're from a middle class family, and you would think members of such a family must be somewhat educated. My cousin has autism and his parents refuse to accept it. When he can't do well in class, his father beats him to pulp. No matter how many times I tell him that his son has autism and should go to a different school with more care, they refuse to understand. Meanwhile, this child, with no fault of his own, is being constantly tortured," says Tanim Khan, who works at a Dhaka based NGO. When there are child-abuse cases in well-off families, there is more to question than just the level of education of the abusers.

To truly understand why abuse is still persisting, we must understand the psychology of abusers. "Those who abuse usually have an abnormal personality disorder, which is sadistic in nature. A lot of the time, they have such disorders due to either being abused themselves, or having seen abuse often committed by others," says Doctor Mohammad Mahmudur Rahman, Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Dhaka. "People with such personality disorders tend to take pleasure in others' pain, without any remorse or guilt. Sometimes, they won't even consider what the victim may be feeling, because their pleasure is overpowering every other thought." He continues, "abusers will have an offending personality. They will have very less emotions and can selfishly manipulate people. They will be harsh and cruel in nature. They will have no sense of proportion, meaning even the smallest offense to them will bring out a violent reaction. Most of their threats will involve sadism, which can directly violate human rights."  

Anyone can be an abuser and it is never easy to tell them apart. But there are certain characteristics, behavioural or otherwise, that are common in abusers like very high expectations of the child and what the child should achieve, a lack of knowledge and skills in bringing up children, low self esteem and self confidence, depression, alcohol and/or drug abuse, mental or physical ill health, work pressures and stress.

The Constitution of Bangladesh contains explicit guarantees of a wide range of civil and political rights considering those as Fundamental Rights. It secures the right of remedy for the violation of these rights by way of a constitutional petition before the Supreme Court. "Our laws on child rights are very strong," says Advocate Elina Khan, a leading Human Rights activist, "But the execution of the laws is not satisfactory at all. The main reason behind this is the lack of awareness. Every mother, father and child themselves must know of child rights and should know how to handle things once the case is taken to the police station and eventually the court."

Child Rights include equality before law, equal protection of the law, non-discrimination on grounds of race, religion, caste, sex, or place of birth, special measures for women, children and 'backward sections of citizens', equality of opportunity in public employment, protection of the rights to life and personal liberty, the right to be treated in accordance with law, safeguards as to arrest and detention, prohibition of forced labour, protection in respect of trial and punishment, freedom of assembly, freedom of association, freedom of thought and conscience, freedom of expression, freedom of profession and occupation, freedom of religion, the right to property and the right to protection of the home and correspondence. Despite these, child abuse exists almost like a normal daily affair.

As citizens of Bangladesh it is our duty to protect our children, who are said to be the backbone of the nation. Even if we are not abusers, our silence does not make us any better than them. Through the acceptance of the use of violence and force, acceptance of physical punishment of children, acceptance of parents "ownership" of children and their right to treat children as they see fit, any kind of violent discrimination and inequality between men and women, we involuntarily support and encourage child abuse.
To really build a better Bangladesh, we have to stop, look around and see everything for what it is. There is no point in denying that Bangladesh has an alarming rate of child abuse. It is about time we stop breaking our own backbone.