Published on 04:15 PM, March 01, 2023

#Perspective

Boundaries you need to set for inner peace

If you are tired of being overwhelmed all the time because of a lack of boundaries in your life, practice these few steps to set your personal boundaries to achieve that inner peace.

Photo: Collected

Boundaries are very important. We all have limitations and we tend to often take things to the limits simply because we don't have any boundaries. This can be very bad for our inner peace and so, we need to act accordingly. Sure, you may feel guilty at first and they may not give the best impression to others but remember, you must protect your boundaries at all cost. Besides, boundaries increase our sense of selves and self-worth. It will be challenging at first and they will get tested, but make sure to stick to it and follow through. The guilt and negative feelings get better over time. Also, remember that boundaries are only meant to control you, not others, so their responses should not affect your cause. Here are the things you need to look into.

Learning your own limits

The most crucial step to setting boundaries is having the knowledge of your own limits so that you have the insight on when and where to draw lines. Of course, a lot of trial and error is required to sort this bit out but once you do, you can proceed to the next step. It's essential that you know two points. One, you are a human being and you do not have to outdo yourself. Two, your job is to look out for yourself and not please everyone.

Taking your time to make choices

Learning about our boundaries can take some time. It can be a good idea to make time-outs a part of your life as you get to know yourself better. This means assessing situations before coming to any conclusions and thinking through before saying yes to something. This is especially important if you are overwhelmed or not in a good headspace. Taking time helps us sort our feelings out a bit and avoiding sticky situations.

Communicating your feelings

Once you understand your limits better, the next phase is to communicate it to others. This is indeed very uncomfortable and you can't expect everyone to understand but it's very important to take care of this. We urge you to not be shy here, as helping people understand your boundaries will eventually help them respect it. It will also normalise the concept of having boundaries and perhaps, you will help others learn and exercise it.

Learning to say no

This is pretty much related to the previous entry and the whole point of setting boundaries. We tend to agree to things we don't necessarily want to agree to only to please others. However, this is extremely detrimental to our mental wellbeing as it often takes a toll on us. Learning to say no is key. Sure, not everyone will take this well but this will save you from many unwanted situations. It will also help you preserve valuable time, energy and prevent mental exhaustion, leading to peace of mind.

Skipping out on over justifying and apologizing

Learning to say no will not help if we follow it up with heaps of explanation and justification. Both contribute to the detriment of inner peace. Sure, a brief explanation may be necessary in certain cases, but we must avoid over justifying our cause to others just to make them realise that they are good enough.