The many types of people we see in movie theatres

Yet another day in a movie theater, you wonder whether you're somehow the chosen one or if this happens all the time. You look at all the, uh, colourful characters around you, bringing with them a level of annoyance asked for by absolutely no one, and wonder if everyone else shares your opinion. No amount of darkness seems to be able to hide their faces full of irritation. These are all common occurrences, you think, and regardless of the general reception, it is important to remember that all of this is probably better handled with a touch of humour. So, you begin your categorisation.

The Alpha Male: Okay, why is this man arguing, so loudly might you add, about his seat placement with a staff that had NOTHING to do with it? The poor staff has no idea what is going on and the entire audience is now wondering if watching a man display any lack of understanding of social etiquette is perhaps better than the movie. This distracts everyone from the big namedrop in the movie which will lead to the revelation in the third act. Absolutely no one ends up enjoying the climax, but at least we saw someone scream at an employee (seriously, don't yell at staff members).

The Inquisitors: You sit to watch a movie, and engross yourself in the characters talking to each other. Soon enough, you hear another voice. It's the inquisitor, here to add another layer of dialogue for you to absorb. This time it's somehow just one seat away from you, you wonder why it's always that guy seated so close to you. Seriously, why not several seats away? You sigh as you push yourself through several "What happened there?"-s and "What did that person do?"-s even when the answer is in front of, well, everyone. Curiosity is a gift, but maybe it shouldn't be expressed so loudly sometimes.

The Businesspeople: You hear another person, again a few seats away, have their phone ring. Perfectly normal, you think, happens to all of us. Instead of placing the phone on silent, or finding an alternative way to deal with this, however, you see the person pick up their phone. In cold horror, you stare as the person speaks loud enough to be heard over the booming speakers of the entire theater. You watch on as the person carries out an entire business meeting in the loudest voice imaginable, puts the phone down, and immediately gets another call. The horror, when will it end.

The Spillers: You wonder what is causing the strange sensation on your back, and you investigate to find a spare popcorn, probably one that was spent flying towards you. A message from on high? Well, if the seat on the row above yours counts as divinity, then sure. Another colourful aggravation, but wait that's not even all of it. On other days, you feel the soles of your shoes turn cold, and look down to see your neighbour spilling their entire drink, sometimes they'll even spill some on your lap in their moment of joy at a film's climax. Do people think these places magically clean themselves? You keep wondering, and you continue to wonder as after the credits roll everyone walks away with no recollection of their messy actions.

When all is said and done, it is important to be respectful in public spaces. And maybe sometimes a polite reminder to keep it down is also in order.

Raian thinks Joyland deserved to be nominated for an Oscar. He also thinks it deserved to win.