I feel I am being judged whenever I step outside my comfort zone. I feel a sudden pressure to abide by the moral guidelines of others and conform to their acceptable standards. It is my Dhaka after all. I belong to this beautiful old city; then why do I get this sense of being alienated here? 

I want to talk to the men and women of this beautiful city—people who are bold, strong, and modern in their thoughts and not just in their clothes.

The reason I want to pour my heart out to them is that I do not get to see them on the streets, malls, parks, cafes, buses, or rickshaws. I do not see them as pedestrians walking on the footpath chomping on peanuts anymore. Instead, what I see is prejudice and misogyny in the streets of Dhaka—many people displaying a fierce hatred for women.

I am as old as Bangladesh plus a few years more and have always lived in Dhaka. Never have I lived in fear of being beaten up or harassed in public. I wish one of you would prove me wrong in this regard but I feel Dhaka is on the verge of a not-so-happy change for a section of its populace in terms of social settings.

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Ensure women’s security in public spaces

From personal experience, I notice a lot of women are uncomfortable because they do not wear clothing that is considered "modest" by certain sections of our society. Trust me when I say that many of us, if we are in a saree or wearing trousers, are feeling unnerved in a crowd or on the streets now. If wearing modest clothing is my choice, then not wanting to wear it should be my choice, too. But some men and women are morally policing women who opt not to wear clothing as per their modesty standards. I sincerely hope I am overreacting and Dhaka streets are safe for me, as they always have been.

However, the recent reports about strange and random men beating up women in broad daylight for not living up to their standards—as bizarre as it may sound, happening in Dhaka—is not comforting. Hitting women on the streets with batons for working at night, robbing them of their meagre income, and bragging about this brave feat on social media are also taking place now. While most of us Dhaka residents are disgusted by these much-hated incidents, we are not voicing our concern loud enough.

A few days back I saw a woman, whose name I do not know, being shoved by her husband on the street. He snatched their son from her and in broad daylight, he was scolding, pushing, and abusing his wife in public. The woman was on the verge of tears, red-faced and shamed. As always citing domestic violence as a private thing, no one intervened.

Then there is the incident of Dhaka University students torturing to death, a 35-year-old, who was a drifter and had mental disabilities. The students thought he was a thief and assumed the roles of a judge, jury, and executioner and did not hesitate to share their mindless violence on social media.

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State must ensure women’s safety

I don't think it is in Dhaka's character to be this misogynistic and hateful. But suddenly Dhaka's chauvinistic face is more visible with all that street rage, intolerance about different opinions, judgemental and demeaning attitudes towards women, and verbal and physical attacks. There is an attitude that seems to say, "We have power now and we will do what we want." These mindless acts only justify and encourage more hatred, injustice, and anarchy.

I think it's time for Dhaka folks to stand up for themselves and defend their good name for they are not women haters nor are they against an inclusive society.

Dhaka is a melting pot of diversity, where everyone can enjoy their freedom of choice. This 400-plus-year-old city knows how to include. This city shelters so many residents doing such diverse work and at the end of the day, we Dhakaites return home happy. Let's keep it that way, please.

Raffat Binte Rashid is editor of My Dhaka at The Daily Star.

Views expressed in this article are the author's own. 

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