Borrowing Etiquette

Books: Books are easily among the most treasured possessions of any rational being. When someone is loaning you a book, he is trusting you with nothing less than a part of his soul. As such, you must look after the book and handle it with respect. Abandoning the book in a dusty corner of your room, letting your younger siblings pour paint over it, allowing your girlfriend to fling it across the room in a fit of rage – these are not signs of respect and care. Keep the book in your bag, out of harm's way, and be sure not to bend the spine when reading it. Most importantly, USE A BOOKMARK, please. Leave those page-corners alone.

Clothes: While most women feel that they wouldn't be caught dead wearing someone else's clothes, men are much less rigid on this point. Whether it be after a sweaty round of football, or a crow-poop incident, men frequently find themselves borrowing t-shirts and such from their bros. When returning the shirt, if it has creases all over it and smells like you, it's a poor show of gratitude. Wash the shirt, and if ironing seems like a bit much, then at least fold it neatly so it doesn't crease all over. Try to avoid getting stains on the shirt while you are wearing it, and be careful of ripping stitches with your manliness.

Jewellery and Make-up: Though unwilling to borrow clothes, women are quite eager when it comes to jewellery and make-up. Make-up requires a different sort of care – you don't want to ruin the product, or use up all of it. If it's a powder or such, apply it using your own brushes. If it's a nail polish or fluid of some sort, make sure it doesn't dry up under your care. Jewellery, needless to say, needs to be treated carefully. Make sure no stones or embellishments are missing when you return it. Losing jewellery can have terrible consequences. Ever read “The Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant?

Gadgets: The dreaded road-trips with families call for iPods and iPads with great urgency, but as our luck would have it, our own gadgets are usually either broken, missing or non-existent. When borrowing such a device from a friend, it is important to not underestimate the value of the object. Don't get excited by the numerous functions and get it to do a zillion tasks at once. Do not tinker with the settings, or modify/delete any of the data stored in it – however comfortable you may be with the device, it is not yours. When returning it, make sure that it is sufficiently charged and cleaned – wipe away any trace of sticky fingers and ink-marks if you want to live.

Money: Well. There's only one rule regarding borrowing money – return it. ASAP.

So go through your book shelves, closets and drawers – return the things that never belonged to you. You little thief.