How to Network Loudly

Networking is important. It can help you build the right connections with the right people. That's why someone who aspires to attain a job, without using conventional means, dedicatedly runs after important people to network with them. However, sometimes your efforts might end up in vain as the person you want to network with might not notice you at all.

Listed below are a few pointers you might find helpful to avoid feeling like all your stalking didn't amount to anything.

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The first thing you need to do is be active on social media 24/7. Send everyone from your school/university friend requests. And if a senior sends you one, assume that the senior is stalking because you are the most important person in the universe. Once your friend requests are accepted, post on their walls to show people that you know them very well. Show your classmates that you're the potential face of your class. The posts can start with 'TBH' (To be honest) and you can go on writing about how Bobby Deol and this person look alike (thanks to your stalking skills). Be the first one to hit the like button on whatever your seniors post. When you meet them, ask them where they got the T-shirt they wore on Wednesday from. It shows that you give their posts the attention they deserve. And it's totally, definitely not creepy. 

Be the selfie lord
One way to let people know they are important is by taking selfies with them. Always be ready with your phone. You can also request your friends to take pictures with their DSLRs. But your work doesn't end here. Post the selfie instantly on Instagram and Facebook with a caption that highlights how highly you hold the person you took the picture with. It can be something like #bestsenioreva, even if you've known them for just over 5 minutes. If someone refuses to take a selfie with you, don't get disheartened. You can always post your own selfies reminding people of your existence. Do it at 9 p.m. to get the highest amount of likes.  Don't worry about people who unfollow you; they don't deserve to behold your glorious duckface anyway. 

Feel free to embarrass yourself
To gain something, you need to lose something. Always speak your heart out. A self deprecating sense of humour always helps lighten the mood. Try telling your seniors about how you used to wet the bed every night till you were 10. Making them laugh or laughing at their horrible jokes is also a sign of your patience. While you do so, don't hesitate to tell them about your dream to conquer their hearts.

Become the gossip king/queen
All you need to do is not have a life and update yourself with others' personal lives. Eavesdrop when people walk by, stalk the exes of your seniors, find out what they were like in the early years, and go through the comments under all the posts you see. Be sure to leak some info once in a while about your classmates because your popularity is all that matters. Try telling them about which guys of your class have a crush on that one senior apu. You will score a lot of brownie points. BIG TIME. 

You, my friend, are all set to go.

Myat Moe is an occasional philosopher whose favorite pastime is confusing people with her nationality.
Reach her @145michelle@gmail.com