What Kind of Pokehuman are You?

When I was in the 4th grade, after a gruelling research through various forums with a 56kbps internet line, I came to the disappointing conclusion that we will never have Pokemon in our lives; not even a Zubat. As I grew up and my social circle started becoming more convoluted with a growing number of acquaintances, it felt only logical to classify them like a taxonomist. But as I got to that I realised we humans, or "pokehumans" I will cheekily add, can quite simply be classified with pokemon types. So let's take a look at what type of Pokehuman you are likely to be. 

Grass: You're the type of person who can hold a 15 minute conversation on how oolong tea is better than black tea. You try to introduce a more vegetarian diet in the household to the dismay of pretty much everyone else. 

Fire: You have the determination of a cat after a laser. You try to force your friends into random tours that they seldom agree to. You're an impulse buyer. I'll take a shot in the dark and presume that you bought a guitar or a DSLR and forgot about it 2 months later. 

Water: You like going with the flow. You always try to adapt to things instead of lashing out against it. If someone steps on your foot you're likely to apologise to them for causing inconvenience. Your kind-hearted nature is preyed upon whenever your friends crave for a treat.

Electric: You're the person in class who will explain to everyone with profound enthusiasm why the death of Cyanogen mods will be the death of humanity, whether they want to hear about it or not. 

Psychic: The brainiac. You're the type of person who would say their exam was terrible after answering 98 out of 100. You like to read not just to put it up on goodreads but for the sake of reading. Your cherished intellectuality is often mocked but that never discourages you. Keep at it you loveable Abra. 

Ice: Your favourite movie is Fro... No I'm just kidding. You're not the most emotional person and any public display of affection baffles you. You never really get love stories and that doesn't bother you the slightest. 

Dragon: The edgelord. You love RPGs. You're more than likely to be a diehard fan of a fantasy saga like Lord of the Rings or Warhammer. You listen to metal because "It's the only genre that gets me man." 

Dark: You're the emo/goth kid in class. You've heard one too many Bullet for my Valentine songs and you don't regret it one bit. Your mom has given up on asking why you wouldn't wear that yellow shirt/dress she bought for you. 

Fairy: You love K-pop and anything that can be considered fluffy. Although slightly emotionally unstable at times, you're more than what meets the eye. It's just that you don't sulk about the bad things.

Flying: "What do you wannabe when you grow up?" "A pilot" – yeah that's you. You hate being rooted. Travelling around the world is your dream. Good luck with that, just make sure you don't fly into a plane. 

Poison: You love gossip and drama. You also love sprinkling a few backhanded compliments here and there. You often wonder why Mean Girls doesn't have the sequel it deserves.

Ground: You're the sports freak. You only feel at home when you're on that wide field smashing that cricket ball out of the park or sliding into that goal saving tackle that just as might clinch the match. 

Fighting: "Genjam" is your middle name. You've been contemplating on taking Judo classes and hit that gym every now and then. Your love for wrestling transcends your age. Deep inside you have a soft side but you're ready to punch anyone who tries to imply that.

Bug: Your interests are... unconventional. You learnt how to make an ant farm from YouTube. The only guy who doesn't despise biology class.

Rock: You strictly listen to 90s' music. You're a tough person but deep inside you think My Little Pony isn't THAT bad.

Steel: The local car enthusiast. You love living posh. You believe in flaunting what you've earned. Your instagram account is filled with peers and stalkers. 

Ghost: You have this inherent ability of slipping in and out of every social circle. No one knows where you come from. They just know you'll pop up when you're needed and then vanish when they turn away. No one wants to be the commissioner Gordon to your Batman so they just accepted it. 

Normal: Well you just can't relate to any of the other categories. You're special because… you're not special. You love living the simple life and not overthinking things. Isn't that right, Snorlax? 

Nuren Iftekhar is your local stray cat in disguise; he interacts with people for food and hates bright light. He got Hufflepuff 3 times straight in Pottermore so no walking around that one. Send him obscure memes at n.iftekhar18@gmail.com