How to offer support to survivors of sexual assault

Sexual abuse is a disturbing part of reality. Although it is crucial to empower the survivors of sexual assault by extending our support to them in every way possible, it is a very sensitive situation to deal with. Thus, I am writing this article to share the wisdom I have been imparted with, through experiences as an advocate for mental health, hoping it helps you provide mental health support to a survivor when needed.

Firstly, you must understand that it is not fair to take a decisive stance and state your opinions matter-of-factly if you aren't aware of the details from an objective point of view. It is pertinent that we do not feed into sensationalised narratives by impulsively sharing inflammatory pieces of information that isn't verifiable. People's lives are at stake, and spreading a narrative devoid of objectivity could jeopardise the investigation.

If a survivor confides in you, you should make an effort to empathise with them and offer help in every way possible for you. You could offer them emotional support and help them reach out to the relevant authorities to seek justice for themselves. Do not take it upon yourself to deliver justice to someone. You aren't expected to do so.

Many people conflate supporting the survivor with waging a war against the accused. They start bullying the accused and go to extreme lengths to make their life miserable. Not only is it insensible to do so, it might have an adverse impact on the situation.

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Moreover, it takes away much of the attention from the actual issue at hand, turning into a he-said-she-said limbo. In case the accused offender happens to be a friend or an acquaintance, you might want to limit your interactions with them until the truth comes out, as the victim might feel betrayed and develop trust issues if they see you being friendly with their abuser after confiding in you about the traumatic experience.

It is pertinent to be tactful while conversing with the survivor. Please ensure that it does not come across as an interrogation or round of intense questioning. Try to refrain from asking for details unless they willingly share them. Please remember that it is not for you to investigate the authenticity of the accusation. Even if you have to verify a piece of information for any reason which entails requesting information from the survivor, you should politely explain to them why the information is crucial for you before proceeding.

For instance, if you are a part of the disciplinary committee of an organisation the accused individual is affiliated with, you will need to meticulously assess the situation and take necessary actions. If they consent to participate, please ask your questions while keeping the topic's sensitivity in mind without pressuring them if they seem to be uncomfortable.

Understand the person has been through major trauma, so it is crucial to be patient with them. Survivors might block out specific details of the incident from their conscious minds. Hence, don't make them feel invalidated if they fail to recollect any information, and let a mental health professional deal with it instead.

To conclude, treat the survivor like you would treat someone you deeply care about. Try to practice active empathy in every possible situation in your personal life, and it will guide you through such situations without every step becoming a moral dilemma.

Mursalin is a graduate from North South University, and a mental health advocate online.