There are two ways to get a driving license in Bangladesh. One involves roughly seven steps for most people. 

1.    You get the form, fill it up with a leaky ball-pen and submit. 

2.    You pay the requisite amount and wait for the day they will call you to hand over the learner's permit. 

3.    Then you wait some more while binge watching all dragon slaying seasons of Game of Thrones (GoT). 

4.    Just before that episode where everybody dies, you get a notification to sit for your verbal and practical exams. 

5.    Somewhere along the way you are asked to head to one of the centres for your mugshot and fingerprint. They might require a possible DNA test, a few hair samples, if you have any, and a tooth for dental records. They keep the tooth for future reference. 

6.    Some of these exams you fail, because they are designed in a way to keep average drivers off the road. Which makes you wonder why no one knows how to drive. 

7.    You come back after watching the GoT season finalé confident that you will slay the exams. Many months down the line, after having binge watched all of Netflix, you finally receive a license that sets you on a course of survival training. 

Then there is the other way. We all know it. We choose to ignore it like that slightly irritating itch that we hope a few casual queries on social media will solve. This requires only two steps. 

Step 1: You find a guy and throw a whole lot of money at him. Anywhere between 9-11k, depending on how well the guy is recommended or how shiny his moustache is.  It's always a guy and half the time they have facial foliage. Step 2: You will have to show your face for driving tests and photographing. And you get to keep your tooth. All this takes about two months. 

The secondary process has multiple benefits for the country as a whole. It expedites the lengthy process, saving the general folk a lot of valuable time often eaten up by traffic jams. Many young industrious and often dubious men become self-employed. Given the current trend, they could call themselves start-ups. Like most start-ups they ask for money before actually doing anything.  

In the end, it is those very people contributing to the traffic jams because no one ever learned how to drive. That includes the bus driver that runs down the motorcyclist. Also the ambulance driver that eventually hits another car. And finally, the morgue appointed driver who is, most likely, also the ambulance driver. We don't have hearses, we have ambulances doing the same duty. How would any of these people in our overpopulated city keep busy if licenses were obtained the lengthy way? Perhaps this is how BRTA is keeping the economy fluid while the traffic stagnates. And when the traffic moves, death and destruction ensue. We might as well be selling licenses at every shop named Babul Traders. We can sell licenses to maim and run over. 

But road accidents may not be a problem anymore. Death itself may be a thing of the past. In the arid location of Scottsdale, Arizona, a company called Alcor is storing 147 brains and bodies, frozen in liquid nitrogen, with the hopes of being revived one day. And that day may be here sooner than we think. 

I just heard scientists are working on ways to reanimate the dead. The aptly named ReAnima Project, according to The Telegraph, has just received approval in India and the US. Biotech companies Revita Life Sciences and Bioquark Inc are to work on 20 patients declared clinically dead from a traumatic brain injury. It is also taking place in Anupam Hospital in Rudrapur, Uttarakhand India. 

As we have seen in movies, this is exactly how zombie apocalypses take place. Once India is down, all the zombies will swim across the borders without any documentation. And we will be stuck in traffic jams where no one will be able to move because no one really learned how to drive.