Girlfriend breaks up with boyfriend because he’s obsessed with chikon jilapi

"It started with him prioritising chikon jilapi over the mota ones," said Raisa talking about her breakup, "But unlike half of my countrymen, I'm aware that people can hold opinions different than mine and can survive without making a mess out of it. So, I simply let it go. But soon, his fascination turned into an obsession. The man who'd whine about standing in line at a clothing store for 10 minutes was suddenly as patient as a girl discussing lehenga measurements with her tailor. Whenever I'd call him, he'd either be waiting in a line for chikon jilapi or getting out of one."

Chikon jilapi has ruined more than just Raisa's relationship. Raisa's boyfriend Shadman spent all his savings on chikon jilapi this Ramadan, "Whenever he'd see a Facebook post of some restaurant selling chikon jilapi at a ridiculous price, he'd go and buy it out of sheer obsession. They literally sprinkled chocolate wrappers on top of the jilapi and called it golden jilapi, and Shadman was naive enough to break his savings account to spend it all on one kg of jilapi. Worst of all, he didn't even make a food vlog out of it. I mean, what's even the point then?"

Shadman's obsession reached the point that he started taking money from his family and even Raisa to fulfil his cravings.

"He took money from me in the name of buying panjabis and bought jilapis with it instead. I forcibly took him from the jilapi line one evening and bought him an expensive Illeen DeGeneres Panjabi. But he sold it to someone else the next day and bought chikon jilapi with that money. Things even ended up in violence when one of my friends called it "jalebi" in front of Shadman, which I don't honestly blame him for."

"I informed his family members and together we tried to put an end to this obsession," added Raisa, "We banished him from going to local sweet shops or hanging out with friends he eats jilapi with. But the local sellers won't stop luring him and I caught him red-handed taking chikon jilapi from his dealer right in front of his house!"

Shadman had so much sugar content in his blood that the mosquitoes in his room were scared of biting him thinking they might get diabetes from sucking his blood. When we reached out to one of the mosquitoes, it said, "Jzz Jzz Jzz". We don't particularly know what it meant but it sounded really angry. 

"All our conversations were about chikon jilapi and all our dates were at local jilapi shops," cried Raisa, "I even tried to get him into normal jilapis for a change but being the Bengali man he is, he just fat-shamed the jilapi on social media and laughed about it. But I wasn't prepared to let him go just yet. I loved him and was willing to sacrifice everything to bring him on the right track. That was until he said that he loved bangi and preferred it over all other fruits. That's when I realised, I couldn't build my future with this person and dumped him."

Shadman has been seeking professional help after his breakup, "Even after Raisa left me, I couldn't realise what a bad place I was in. One day, I found myself mixing chikon jilapi with but-muri. I looked at the mess I had created, and realised I had become the very thing I despised all my life and needed to get out."

Remind Ifti to be quieter at hasiburrashidifti@gmail.com