Domestic workers extend ‘general holiday’; cite risks and how dirty people are

In an unprecedented move, the Utopian Union of Househelp (UUH) issued an official statement pushing back their return to places of employment until September 2020.

Putting an emphasis on the current crisis and asserting that the move has nothing to do with bored housewives and hot irons, the association said it was simply a matter of safety.

The decision has created ripples across the country.

"There are growing piles of clothes in my house and no one to clean them. What will I do until September?" said a horrified aunty from the block, who was recently released from quarantine.

It is not merely aunties who are feeling the brunt of this decision by the UUH. Young people, enraptured by the Marie Kondo method which was all the rage last year, are faced with a new conundrum.

Tasnu, a university student said, "What is the point of having so many pairs of jeans and t-shirts? But throwing these clothes away also means I am not being Zero Waste. If the maids were here, I could donate my clothes to them. Now I am just piling up all these clothes that don't spark joy."

When asked what they will do in the interim, a UUH spokesperson said, "We are creating a framework for our activities. A big part of that will be designing a campaign for alternatives to being cleaners in holy lands."

Lubnan Khaleesi has cracked the code for the right street-type jhalmoory, but is still on the hunt for the best halim in town. And don't even get started on her cheesecakes.