HORRORSCOPE

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES You are half way through with your perfect life.

4y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES Photosynthesis is going to stop soon.

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES Hattori, Hattori, this is my name. Laughing, making you laugh, this is my game.

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Sundays are the best of the worst.

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Wet handkerchiefs are better than moist ones.

5y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Take a 5 minute break before every sentence you speak.

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Greetings with words are no longer adequate. Curtsy from now on.

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

A dumb camel once said, “Moo.”

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Why do you think “bottle” is a funny word?

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

If you've never heard of the chukum bros, what have you done?

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Throwback to the time I jumped halfway across the Atlantic Ocean.

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Push me to the edge.

6y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Cradle your phone like a baby and kiss it. It's for luck, obviously.

7y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

Bottled water is good if you want to look fancy.

7y ago

This Week's Horrorscope

A water bottle today will grow into a water tank tomorrow.

7y ago