Local borhani connoisseur looks to set new standards

PHOTO: ORCHID CHAKMA

A string of flavours, a scrumptious kick, a warm embrace – these are the makings of the finest borhani one might have the privilege of tasting. This excellent drink is a testament to the staples of Bangladeshi cuisine and celebrates our refined palate. Borhani is made up of a bunch of ingredients that may sound like a juxtaposition but possesses the perfect "marriage" of flavours. 

However, apart from the seasonal appearance at weddings and a rare glass here and there, borhani appears to fly under the radar but a collective has sought to change that. The Fine Borhani Club is a group that bleeds borhani and strives to share their passion with the world.

"The beverage completes the gap between a regular meal and the perfect wedding feast. It might also be interpreted as the remedy that prevents middle-aged wedding attendees from being blown into oblivion," said Mrs Shantana, founder of The Fine Borhani Club.

The group had humble beginnings. From crashing one wedding to another, being confronted and eventually kicked out, the members had to fight for their place, just not literally.

"We were providing wonderful insight into the mediocre abomination they were serving. I mean, who even needs an invitation to express their opinions?" exclaimed a bewildered Mrs Shantana.

According to her, the average Dhaka resident is invited to four weddings each year; seven if they're lucky. But that implies no one takes notice of their presence. Such meagre numbers are not enough.

Nonetheless, having attended enough receptions, she has developed a sophisticated process of tasting borhani. It may be judged based on texture, the kick, and the experience, or "drink, delegate, and derive," as Mrs. Shantana has phrased it.

"The drink may exude grit or serenade coolness, it may be thick and buttery or acidic and tangy," continues the connoisseur. "There is a rare threshold where everything just clicks."

The Fine Borhani Club deviates from numbers and instead prefers using alternatives such as "Divorce on the fourth week" or "A happily ever after." Anything in between is left to the reviewer's creativity.

Mrs. Shantana says she started this out of love. Borhani, for her, is the ultimate form of tying a stronger knot.

"Each member we have here is like family. We recruited some because they threatened to expose our identities at uninvited weddings but you learn to love them."

After decades of sipping secretly and critiquing quietly, it is finally time for the Club to emerge. The Fine Borhani Club is ready to become a household name and a permanent presence in weddings across the country. Invite them and witness the mastery unravel before your eyes. They promise to be honest, although, for the right price, that too might change.

In due time, The Fine Borhani Club will be everywhere.

Abir Hossain is a failed SoundCloud Rapper. Tell him you too can't find anything to rhyme oranges with at fb/abir.hossain.19