Carpe diem

Latin,'seize the day!', a quotation from Horace 
(Odes I.xi). 
but i can't. i cannot be bothered to find 
meaning behind the faults in my father's eyes, i cannot begin to note down the anger's temperature rising from my brother's scalp. i cannot seize
what must hurt me to be, be remorseful of the void that strikes me with grief 
seize the day; it is for the old & rich to say, filled to the brim with their foamy beers and rustic cigarette stained teeth, 
i for one cannot will myself to be anything but miserable, to be able to seize anything but the emissary of misery by the throat, but even then,
what can one do at the face of their greatest trauma? 
carpe diem is for the movies, for those who are cursed 
with a greater purpose, not for those such as myself, 
for i am cursed with achieving what i carry; the 
unbridled weight of the coffin 
i must marry. 

Tawsif Mahmud is the author of the poetry collection Poetry & Poison. He refers to himself as the poet of misery, and writes poems that could be felt by many others. He also performs in Slam Poetry Nights.