Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Helmets made compulsory in district town
Mostish Kokhali, a local political leader, yesterday called a press conference in Coolna to announce that there would be no shortage of helmets and everyone walking the streets will have to wear them in the district town.
Elon Musk has nervous breakdown after getting less than 5k retweets
The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, has had a nervous breakdown after only 3,836 people retweeted his latest tweet.
Make one egg last 3 meals: Ministry publishes guideline after price hike
After the price of eggs escalated, the Ministry of Austerity has come up with a guideline on how to maximise benefits from a single egg.
Cricketer won’t say sorry after breaking world record for apologies
The most prolific money-making superstar of cricket, Becash All Hashi, has decided to no longer apologise to his fans after extending his own world record for most official apologies made by a professional athlete in any sport.
Reaching home safely is mark of success and development: Minister
There is good news for those who have failed or are failing to achieve success by becoming an engineer or a doctor. Chapasthan has set a new “success criterion”, under which people can become successes, seemingly by doing nothing out of the ordinary.
Bangladesh named world’s healthiest country in 2050
The year is 2050. The United Nations just declared Bangladesh the world’s healthiest country. The UN secretary general urged all to follow Bangladesh as a role model.
Digital marketing guru changes name to boost SEO
In an unprecedented feat of putting one’s money where one’s mouth is, the digital marketing guru formerly known as Golam Mostafa has changed his name to Golam Rocky Road Mostafa.
Surprising study finds development is meant to help people
A surprising new study published yesterday revealed that the purpose of development in any country is to improve the lives of its citizens.
Martin Scorsese lauds local entrepreneur and filmmaker as “pioneer of cinema”
The Academy Award winner did not have a shortage of praises for the man.
B,CB outlaws retirement; players can only be rested
The country’s apex cricket governing body has ruled that henceforth, no cricketer will be allowed to retire.