Satireday

Satireday

Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life

Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.

1m ago

Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam

The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.

1m ago

Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control

In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.

1m ago

Holy League unveils new leftist wing

“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.

1m ago

A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person

The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.

2m ago

Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’

“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.

2m ago

Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission

When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.

2m ago

Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech

Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.

2m ago

Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order

When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?

The Cancelling

The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.

Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person

A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.

Club senior says he discovered debating

A senior from Bangladesh Debate Union called a press conference at National Press Club today to “celebrate his part” in winning the World Universities Debating Championship.  

2y ago

Police declare all cases solved and shift focus to bad singers

Daha Mrittu Politan Police (DMPP), in a press conference this week, announced a radical shift in policy as all pending murder cases were declared solved. 

2y ago

Speedboats to tow high officials’ SUVs amid austerity measures

A circular of the high officials’ welfare division yesterday said due to the curbs on buying fuel and the consequent restrictions on using vehicles, officials high enough can use their boats to tow their cars across city streets.  

2y ago

National cricketer angry at the Sun for rising too late

It is cause for national joy that at least one Bangladeshi has been able to fulfil his parents’ dream by rising early. Since as far back as an egg cracked after a hen laid it (let’s not, okay?), parents have dreamed that their children would rise along with the sun.  

2y ago

‘Do women even breathe after 10:00pm?’

Representatives of the proctorial body, accompanied by hall provosts of Pahartoli University in a press conference yesterday issued a directive that all female students must enter their dorms by 10:00pm.  

2y ago

Man dodging load shedding with simple trick

Entrepreneur Rafsan Rakib has come up with a unique solution to an artificial problem the government created. Load shedding is the talk of the town now, and Rafsan is not worried at all.

2y ago

Parallel Universe: Afghans deploy military in America to ensure peace

No sooner had the uproar over the first few images of space captured by NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope ended, NASA came up with another strange claim.

2y ago

Drivers, helpers being trained in ‘managing to flee’

He used to repair dents in cars in Bhangamotor and with those earnings, along with his brother’s income from driving a CNG-run auto-rickshaw wife’s income from working as hired domestic help, he ran his family of five.

2y ago

You’re wasting your life: Study

A revolutionary new study has found that you are wasting your life.  

2y ago

NASA to hire Bangladeshi ‘scientists’ to get authentic images

The fact that NASA is famous for producing fake images of space and celestial objects, has again been proven.  

2y ago