Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Unmasked roundtable at a round table in Hotel Just-In on Eid home-goers spreading Covid-22
People going home in droves during Eid in Chapasthan was the main reason Covid-22 will spread throughout the country, the capital city’s elite said at a roundtable at Hotel Just-in yesterday.
Government offers information streaming service Proper Gander for only 300 BDT per month
The government yesterday declared that not all citizens had the right to information, but they could get it by paying a modest amount.
While Twitter says Kanga-NOT, FaceCrook welcomes her and other bigots
Freedom of speech is a so called birth right, but it’s merely a line that has no application in social media.
Ultra woke teenager cancels herself and her clout-based services in new rant
An ultra-woke teenager, who spent most of her days virtue-signaling and offering clout-based services to her clients, yesterday cancelled herself in a sign of reaching good-person Nirvana.
Bill to open up to sympathetic Bangladeshi online media instead of Oprah
“She forced me to take weeklong vacations with an ex-girlfriend. She forced me to spend days on the beach with my ex.”
The Fasting Diaries: Day 1
Today was my first day of abstaining from eating and drinking for as long as the sun was out. My journey began keeping four things in mind: spiritual reflection, self-improvement, and heightened devotion and worship.
It’s not tehari, it’s tuhoor: Bangla Institute chief
Bangla Institute Chief Sohan Gazi Tanks today declared that it’s tuhoor, not tehari.
Iphone starts ‘Watermelons offer’ in new genius marketing strategy
While the scorching sun is delivering its unbearable gift, people seem to pay no heed to the heatwave as there are bigger fish to fry: the price of watermelons.
Children demand adults stay home so they can go back to school
For the second time in recent memory, children took to the streets this time demanding they be allowed to go back to school to continue their education.
The Movement Pass Skirmishes
There are quite a few, actually. It’s a club in which our two participants -- Bee and Cat in this case -- verbally spar over a trifle to establish their place in society.