Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Fans in B’baria want to change number of Brazil’s World Cup wins
Football fans in Brahmanbaria have started a petition to change the number of Brazil’s World Cup wins after Argentina made it to the last 16 of the FIFA World Cup on Wednesday. .
Elon Musk to buy Apple, make E-phones
In the ultimate act of billionaire revenge, Tech Genius Elon Musk has announced that he will buy Apple, following a dream he had about the makers of the Iphone, Macbook, Ipad, Airpod taking Twitter off the App Store.
All male panel gives out ‘Best Female Award’
To honour the women who have proved to be young and promising from different walks of life, Beti Foundation along with Tara Barta jointly organised the “Best Female Award”.
New parents lose it after hearing ‘wait until you become grandparents’
A couple took to social media recently to vent their immense frustration after one of their parents one-upped them out of the blue about how to raise their newborn, and told them how the grandparent knew better.
15-yr-old in Banani-13 wins ‘Best 15-yr-old male sausage chef in Banani-13’ award
Parents of a 15-year-old boy in Banani were over the moon with joy after their son won what they said was a very prestigious award.
North Korea to host 2030 World Cup: FIFA
World football’s governing body yesterday announced that the 2030 World Cup would be held in North Korea. The decision was taken, according to FIFA president Gianni Infantino, after the resounding success of the Qatar World Cup.
Brazil or Argentina? A guide on which team to support
It’s time to revive the age-old fight between South Asian supporters of two South American football teams. From competing to see who can hoist the biggest flag, a clear form of overcompensation, to some good ole’ beatdowns in Brahmanbaria, football fever, alongside dengue fever, has taken over Bangladesh.
Bangladesh announces 16-crore-person argument squad for Qatar 2022
While many countries were busy declaring their 26-man squads for the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, Bangladesh declared a 16-crore-person squad for world cup arguments, as people of the country argue much better than they play football.
Sexist man refuses to make eye contact with female colleague
A sexist man, who holds a position of power and claims to listen to the best music and watches the best movies, yesterday refused to make eye contact with his female colleague while addressing a question posed by the female colleague.
Authorities building lighthouse at hospital while doctors work by candlelight
Doctors and nurses at a hospital in Charishal are working with the help of candles and torchlights as electricity supply to the hospital has snapped for the last eight days.