Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Internet Explorer has been closing for 27 years
The news that has been circulating of Internet Explorer retiring at the age of 27 is basically a lie. It’s actually the world’s longest and slowest closure, taking 27 years.
AI proves sentience by describing girl’s complexion as ‘moyla’
The following is an excerpt from the digital journal of a Bangladeshi computer engineer who has been missing for the last seven days.
Govt to mend tea workers’ broken roofs with surplus tea leaves
In the seventh hour of sitting in a traffic jam on the country’s biggest thoroughfare, Chapasthan Commerce Minister Baki Gunchhi held an impromptu press conference for around 30 motorcyclists who had congregated around the minister’s BMW over the last five hours.
PK joins race with Saudi man to marry Amber Heard
Being hit by serious penury, when Amber Heard was totally unable to pay Johnny Depp the $10-million compensation, the amount lost in a bet over the Liverpool-Madrid UCL final, an altruistic man from Saudi Arabia came to the rescue with his fat bank accounts.
We had 1 fire extinguisher: Owner of cargo area on safety measures
After the 549th fire incident that could’ve easily been avoided if businesses weren’t absolute pieces of … or if fire-safety measures were a tiny bit better, the nation was shocked once again.
US state makes bulletproof vests mandatory in schools
The US state of Texas has made it mandatory for schoolchildren to wear bulletproof vests to school to stop deaths from school shootings, while saying guns are part of the solution and not the problem.
How to beat abuse allegations: A book by Johnny Depp
The following is the contents page from actor Johnny Depp’s upcoming book “How to beat abuse allegations”. He wrote the entire book while sitting at the plaintiff’s desk during the six-week defamation trial involving his ex-wife Amber Heard.
Cricket board to make decisions based on online polls
High officials of Chapasthan’s cricket governing body have said that from now on, they will make decisions about the national team based on online polls.
Where the date for the next meeting is set
A high-powered research firm has found that scheduling the next meeting was the only outcome in 98 percent of meetings in companies surveyed.
Don’t judge a judge by his designation
Prodhan Biplob, a self-proclaimed judge and a revolutionary by name, was arrested by police in Chapasthan while establishing the veracity of the axiom “Don’t judge a judge by his designation”.