Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Bezos thanks designer for biodegradable suit specially made for commute to space
Jeff Bezos in a press conference yesterday thanked his designer, an up-and-coming artist, for her impeccable work in designing him a biodegradable suit for his recent commute to space.
Post-holiday virus surge
After the Chapasthan government temporarily lifted the strict lockdown, having gotten assurances from Covid-22 chief Sars Covfefe that the virus would only spread on a limited scale during the eight days of openness, the country has been faced with disaster as the virus has now further mutated.
Covid to spread on a limited scale for the next week
In a break from tradition, and in order to uphold the hosts’ traditions, Covid-22 will be spreading in a limited capacity for the next week, a press release said yesterday.
Ministry of Avoiding Responsibility surprised to be held responsible
The political sphere of Chapasthan has recently been in turmoil because other ministries have started blaming the Ministry of Avoiding Responsibility.
Auntie says ‘I told you so’
An auntie yesterday reminded her nieces and nephews that she told them so, after all of them were laid low with the flu.
Students, teachers in despair during trial reopening of schools post-Covid
The world is a different place now. It is a world ravaged by a pandemic, where people have been mostly home since the end of 2019.
Brazil and Argentina to give Copa America trophy to B-baria after final
The football teams of Brazil and Argentina have decided to send the Copa America trophy to Brahmanbaria after the final tomorrow.
Chattogram, Sylhet at war after mother with heritage from both places wins Ms Dhaka award
The internet has been up in arms after a stay-at-home mom decided to show the world who the real champion is.
Words don’t matter: Linguist concludes after researching ‘restriction’, ‘lockdown’, ‘shutdown’ and ‘holiday’
Loam Chomchom, a local linguist, recently published a peer-reviewed article in an international language-sciences journal following months of research during the pandemic.