Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Forgotten film actor’s dance moves mistaken for heart attack
In a bizarre incident last week, semi-notable TV and film actor Jaded Kzan found himself rushed to the hospital after attempting to showcase his dance moves at a party. Clad in black faux leather, the actor was socialising with other guests when he suddenly contorted his body, convulsed, collapsed and crumpled to the floor, seemingly burdened by the weight of his recent IELTS preparation for a trip to the United States.
Employee who fell asleep sues company over loss of productivity
Akmar Crimer, an employee at The Everyday Stare Agency for Beautiful People, filed a motion against his company for failing to keep him awake at office meetings.
Chairs Anonymous pledges to ‘bring back the original utility of chairs’
Some of them screeched as they moved, while others rolled in strides thinking everybody was totally jealous of them (they were) – the annual Chairs Anonymous, a chair-only two-day convention commenced in the capital yesterday.
7 tips for mental health while regular people suffer during heavy rain and waterlogging
This week our bosses decided Satireday should do some good instead of making people laugh and reduce stress. We have decided on starting a health column. It may seem random like a red university bus running you down from the wrong side of the road but our jobs depend on it. This week we give tried and tested tips on how to stay safe during monsoon season.
Buff man furious that fat-shaming is not allowed, goes back to binge eating
Paul O’wan, an Irish Bangladeshi fitness instructor and social media personality, has made headlines with a sudden change in lifestyle. The reason behind it raised even more eyebrows, even though it failed to raise weights.
Dhanmondi Lake insecure as entire Dhanmondi becomes a lake
Thanks to poor drainage systems and infrastructure, residents of the capital no longer need to visit Cox’s Bazar to feel waves of water crashing at their feet.
Diplomats to receive negotiation training from aunties
With so many global issues impacting the locals, including climate change, river crisis and resource depletion, the country’s foreign service has hatched a plan to effectively train a new generation of diplomats to be able to hone essential bargaining skills.
Bus service says crash a result of R&D
Tejpara - A week ago. Jeena Travels lost a bus travelling from the capital city to the coastal region. The 56-seat bus lost control off a bridge and sank with all 82 passengers onboard.
Man’s faith in statistics crushed after 17th straight loss in rock paper scissors
Naive Haider, 23, has become an internet sensation after going live on Facebook to vent his frustration at his own misfortune.
Man loses fingerprint after slapping cows’ rear ends
With Eid just around the corner, the number of slaps on cows’ backs has surged by leaps and bounds, keeping pace with the price of the sacrificial animal.