Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Mango people can no longer afford homes, only avocado people can
“I just got married and realised I have to live on my own to avoid my life becoming a Hindi soap. But my salary as a Marketing Marketer only allows me to rent one bedroom and half a bathroom.”
Interview: Hatirjheel resident becomes most run over person in history
“The first time was in 2019 when I was a rising TikToker. Our production crew was shooting a classy remake of Hritik’s hit dance move from Krish. Instead of Krish, we had a crash. A motorbike rider, also filing a TikTok landed on me.”
Citizens unite against oppression by rickshaw-pullers
Have you been exposed to the most common and egregious form of oppression on Dhaka streets?
University decides to stack students on top of each other to maximise enrolment
In an unprecedented move, Bidirectional University, the country’s top private university, has decided to implement a stacking policy to maximise the number of students enrolled in the university.
HR head angry at rain for inspiring office workers to go home on time
Our city, akin to Singapore in many ways, has been experiencing a temperature spike over the last three weeks. The temperature was determined to keep climbing, making many wonder if the city was becoming the new Dubai.
Impacted by loadshedding, joint families decide to break up
An alarming case has propped up in the capital recently, faced with surging rates of loadshedding. Forced to spend a lot of time together in the sweltering heat, and at times in complete darkness, joint families are deciding to live separately as the truth getting spilled has spilled bad blood among members.
Tobacco company angered as low air quality makes their products useless
In a joint statement signed by Churut International (CI), tobacco companies expressed their disappointment at the rapidly deteriorating air quality in Dhaka and adjacent areas of the country.
Concertgoers honoured with medals of heroism
The city recently witnessed an epic concert featuring a YouTube sensation from our neighbouring country. Tickets sold out faster than you could say “barbecue sauce,” because the people realised the only other thing they can do in this city is to go to a food shop and eat concoctions dipped in barbeque sauce. Either that or visit a bridge.
Preparation for Los Angeles ’28
The Chapasthan government has started a new initiative in its capital of Dhoka with an aim to prepare the future athletes for athletic events in the Los Angeles Olympics in 2028.
Marks and Sponsor, Life and Living post record profits
Marks and Sponsor Limited (M&S) and Life and Living Group of Company’s (LLG) profits rose respectively by 17.75 percent and 20.25 percent year-on-year in the last financial year.